[Music]
- What?
- You're having breakfast
in class?
- Uh-huh.
- You can't just have breakfast
in the middle of--
is that Turkey bacon?
- Carly?
- Freddie?
- Sam?
- I'm eating.
- All right, class,
take your seats.
Why do I smell bacon?
- It's Turkey bacon.
- Put it away!
- Sorry.
- Okay.
- There, it's put away.
- Into my backpack.
- Now, today
we have a very special treat.
- Spelling bee?
- Quiet, gibby!
Since you young people today
know nothing about fine arts,
prepare to be stimulated
by a true performer.
- Ryan seacrest?
- Gibby!
- Now, some of you may know,
my ancestors hail from Scotland,
the home of plaid.
And so, please welcome,
Scottish highland dancer,
Benjamin yip.
- Um, miss Briggs?
What does Scottish highland
dancing have to do with--
[bagpipe music playing]
- Boo!
[Class booing]
[Stops music]
- Stop that!
Not you!
How dare you children
boo a dancing scotsman?
Who started the boos?
- Gibby.
- No, I didn't.
It was Sam.
I will not be a victim.
- Sam, you have detention.
- I'm used to it.
- Mr. yip, you may dance again.
[Class groaning]
Children!
- [Half-hearted] Yay!
[Bagpipe music playing]
- In five, four, three, two.
[Music]
* I know you'll see,
somehow the world
will change for me
and be so wonderful,
live life, breathe air,
I know somehow
we're gonna get there
and feel so wonderful,
it's all for real,
I'm telling you
just how I feel,
so wake up the members
of my nation,
it's your time to be,
there's no chance
unless you take one
and the time
to see the brighter side
of every situation,
some things are meant to be,
so give me your best
and leave the rest to me,
leave it all to me,
just leave it all to me *
- thanks for lettin' me hang
at your place this afternoon.
No way I can be around my mom
right now.
- You guys fighting?
- Nah, she's wearing
some gross new perfume.
Couldn't you smell it?
- I just thought
your cat peed in the car again.
- I wish.
- Hey.
- Hey, you missed
a smelly ride home
with Sam's mom.
- Yeah, well,
I had to go buy a new backpack
'cause someone
dumped her breakfast in mine.
- You're lucky I didn't dump it
down your pants.
- Anybody want some iced tea?
- Me.
- Tea me.
- Grab three glasses.
So what was up with that whole
Scottish dancing thing?
- Yeah, who wants to see that?
- At least you two
don't have to sit in detention
with her.
- Here you go.
- Aw, now ya see that?
Carly puts a nice slice of lemon
on my glass.
How does she think of that?
- 'Cause Carly's classy.
- Oh, and I'm not classy?
- Classy people
don't clean out their ears
with their cell phone antenna.
- That was
your cell phone antenna.
- What?!
Aww!
No wonder I keep droppin' calls.
- Anyway, what right
does an English teacher have
to force kids to watch dancing?
- I wouldn't mind
watching good dancing.
- You know,
that could be a fun thing
for icarly.
We have people send in
videos of themselves
doing their coolest dance.
- I'm down.
- I dig.
- Let's do it.
- Where'd my straw go?
- Here.
[Music]
- And, in five, four,
three, two.
- I'm Carly.
- I'm Sam.
- Bon soir.
- Hola.
- Shalom.
- Dirkenshnoff.
- Dirkenshnoff?
- It's foreign
for "good evening."
- In what language?
- Foreign-eeze.
- I don't believe you,
but since I have no proof...
- Dirkenshnoff!
- Okay,
now before we get started...
- We have a special request
for you...
- Our icarly viewers.
- We wanna see
videos of you guys
doing your coolest dance moves.
- Or your
uncoolest dance moves.
- Any dance moves
will be acceptable,
like the jitterbug.
- The tango.
- The mambo.
- The Chimichanga.
- The woozy jacuzzi.
- The butternut trot.
- Any dance you like.
- Just put it on video
then upload it right here
at icarly.Com.
- And if your dance
is extremely awesome...
- Or extremely lame...
- We might show it here...
- For the whole world to see.
- And if we do...
- You could get paid...
- Or not.
- Yeah, probably not.
- You won't.
- Nope.
[Music]
[Loud banging]
- Hi.
- Why?
- My stupid lock is broken.
I've dialed my combination
like ten times,
and it won't open.
- Hey.
So I was just checkin'
icarly.Com during study hall.
- Oh, did we get
any dance clips in?
- Try over 3,000.
- No way.
- Yep.
- How are we gonna watch
3,000 dance clips
before our next show?
- We gotta watch
like 500 every night.
- Oh, my god.
- What are you doing
to my locker?
- This is my locker.
- No, that's your locker.
- Oh, yeah.
Thanks, gibby.
Let's go, guys.
[Music]
[Dance music playing]
- I give her a seven.
- Six.
- Seven.
- Weird you'd agree with Carly.
- Weird you'd say that.
- How many more dance clips
do we have to watch tonight?
- Uhh, so far
we've watched 472.
[Carly and Freddie groan]
- So we have 28 more to go.
[Carly and Freddie groan]
- Hey,
whatcha guys "ohhh"ing about?
- We're trying to find
cool dancers to show on icarly.
- Ooh, are relatives eligible?
- Uh, sure.
- I guess.
- Yes!
See, when I was
in the tenth grade,
I invented
the coolest dance ever.
I named it "the firecracker."
You guys have heard of it,
right?
- Not really.
- Never.
- Oh.
- So, why'd you call it
the firecracker?
- 'Cause I move my legs
in a fiery explosion
of flailing limbs
and floppy passion.
Wanna see it?
- Yeah.
- Sure.
- Okay.
I gotta go find my helmet
and my shin guards.
- Okay.
Dance clip number 473.
[Carly and Sam groan]
- My name's darby,
and this is the dance called
"the prancing nightingale".
[Guitar music playing]
- Zero.
- Bye, darby.
- Next.
- Where did I put my helmet?
Nope.
[Rock music playing]
- Two.
- One.
- Bye, Courtney.
- Next.
- Here's that biscuit
with cheese I lost.
- Next.
- Whoa!
- Hello!
- Hey, Carly, Sam,
love your web show.
Here's my dance.
- I don't like him.
- Are you insane?
He's totally hot.
[Rock music playing]
Oh, my god.
- That boy's got moves.
- Come on, he's a total nub.
- If he's a nub
then someday I wanna be
Mrs. Carly nub.
- Where is my helmet?!
- Just give me your rating.
- How high can we go?
- Ten.
- Four billion.
- Four billion and three.
- I'm gonna go get
a juice pouch.
- Move! Come on, move! Move!
* just a dance *
* it's just a dance *
[dance music playing]
[Scat singer singing]
- Five hundred dance videos.
- I know.
I'm so tired.
- My brain is fried.
And you know what's nutty?
I don't even remember
waking up this morning.
- Yeah, I don't either.
[Bell rings, drum beat begins]
[Jazzy dance music playing]
[Music ends]
- Weird.
[Drum and bass playing rhythm]
- Okay, does someone wanna
explain what's going on?
- This is insane.
- What's wrong with everybody?
- Hey.
Hey, you guys.
We should--
we should probably go to...
[Yawning]
Sleep.
Miss Briggs: All right,
students, take your seats.
Detention is about to begin.
I said take your seats!
All right,
since you're all in detention,
that means
that each of you is rotten
in your own special way.
- Oh, yeah.
- Now, for the next two hours,
I'm going to play
these bagpipes.
[Everyone groans]
- Why not just shove scissors
in our ears?
- And just so you'll be sure
to hear them...
[Amplifiers buzzing]
- Uh, were those amps there
a few seconds ago?
- Hello, ridgeway!
I am Briggs!
[Playing]
- Aw, man, this is torture!
[Poof]
Hey,
when did she change clothes?
[Poof]
[Bagpipes playing to dance beat]
When did you guys
change clothes?
When did I change clothes?
Okay, you people
are out of your minds.
Okay, why am I dancing?
This shouldn't be happening!
I am not enjoying this.
When did I learn these moves?
Someone tell me what's goin' on!
How am I doing this?
Hey, I'm not flexible!
What?!
Hey!
Quit it, feet!
Why am I pointing?
What's with the bagpipes?!
Who choreographed this?!
Someone help me!
Okay, why are we marching?!
Let's--okay, whoa.
What? Oh, no!
Not a cartwheel!
Aah!
Oh, no, the splits!
Whoa--what are you doing
with me? Let go!
Let go of me!
[Song ends]
- Am I too late for the test?
- Get out of here, gibby,
this is my nightmare!
Freddie: Oh, come on,
he's a total nub.
Carly: If he's a nub,
then someday I wanna be
Mrs. Carly nub.
Sam: That boy's got moves.
Freddie: He's a total nub.
Total nub.
[Bell rings]
- Hey, baby.
You know,
you shouldn't have called
your web show icarly.
You should've called it
you-purdy.
[Raspberry]
- Oh, come on, now,
don't be like that.
Hey, why don't you give Zeke
a little kiss right here?
- Just leave me alone.
- Hey.
Zeke don't take no
for an answer.
[Freddie clearing throat]
[Dramatic music]
- She said leave her alone.
[Boys muttering]
- Yeah?
And what are you gonna do
about it?
[Music intensifies]
- I'm gonna dance.
[Poof]
[Boys cheering]
[Boys shouting taunts]
- Whoo!
What, what?!
Check it out, man!
Back up! Back up!
What, what, what?!
[Zeke grunts]
- Ugh!
[Drum beat]
[Dance music playing]
Boys: Yeah!
[Song ends]
[New upbeat song begins]
[Song ends]
[Clock ticking]
[Clock chiming]
- Sam?
Sam?
Freddie?
Where'd ya go?
Where's the furniture?
Okay, there was a huge couch
right there.
And where'd this dress
come from?
I need some juice.
Hey.
Wait, you're not juice.
Oh, juice boy's got a friend.
Uh, I'll be back
in a few minutes.
[Elevator bell rings]
And three more.
Okay, how many well-dressed
cute boys are in my apartment?
'Kay, why don't you guys
just make yourselves at home,
and I'll just go
to some other place
where hopefully
things make sense.
Okay, I don't know
what's going on here,
but I think I like it.
[Big band music playing]
[Music slows and stops]
[Music begins again]
Spencer: Carly! Carly!
Hey, I found it!
Carly!
[Poof]
I found it! Wake up!
- What? What?
- I found my dance helmet.
Okay, you guys ready to see me
dance the firecracker?
- No chance.
- But it's an explosion
of floppy passion.
- We've seen all the dancing
we wanna see in one night.
- Yeah.
I gotta get home before my mom
has a panic attack.
- I can spend the night here,
right?
- Sure.
- Later.
- See ya.
- 'Night.
- Cute helmet.
- You look like a ladybug.
- Looks like I found you
for nothing.
Oh, well.
[Clock ticking]
[Clock chiming]
Aah!
I don't know
what's goin' on here,
but I think I like it.
[Big band music playing]
Pow!
What?!
No!
Yeah!
Unh!
[Big band music playing]
[Captioning performed by
peoplesupport
transcription & captioning]
[Poof]
[Clock ticking]
- Weird.
[Oven timer dings]
- Mmm!